When in Hong Kong...

... do as the Hong Kongers.

Stoping the sickness dead in my face. 

Clean and Unclean?

Meat is on the cutting edge at HKAC. In the past, the school posted a "NO MEATS" policy on campus. Students having their cup o' noodles thrown down in the cafeteria because of their fleshy/fishy content wasn't unheard of, even as recent as last year. Many students struggled with this policy. Those who couldn't find vege coup o' noodles (not sure if they exist in HK), or stomach cafe food, elected to fast until supper. Some of them even skipped breakfast, which meant their one and only meal was supper.  Granted, this isn't due to poverty, mostly lack of creativity, or laziness, still, a challenge.

This year, the ad com committee voted to quietly do away with the eleventh commandment (no meat), on the grounds that it's impossible to enforce.  Today in staff meeting, the 'decision' was communicated to the staff, creating a small uproar.

Dean of Students: "... so we have decided that we can't enforce the 'no meat' policy any longer." 
Low murmur
Staff 1: "What?!?"
Staff 2: "You mean we're allowing animal flesh here, on campus?"
Staff 3: "I don't know. What happens if someone brings pork inside the cafeteria? We're just supposed to let them eat it?"
Dean of Students: "Yep."

Tonight in the weight room, discussing carnivorism with another teacher, I told him about my discussion with Donni the night before.

Me: "Yeah man, rules about meat eating can be funny sometimes. Last night, Donni asked me if it was okay to eat horse, so I showed him Leviticus and had to explain to him that horses don't chew their cud..."
Luis: "Horses chew their cud."
Me: "What?"
Luis: "Yeah, man. They're just like a cow."
Me: "Noway. Are you sure?" 
Luis: "I'm sure. They're unclean because their hoofs aren't split."
Me: "That makes so much sense." 

Look! I don't even know why I eat what I eat. Am I then going to fault the local 'heathens' for having two grocery isles of cup o' noodles with a plethora of mystery meats? Or Donni for wanting to eat a horse? Or the local Adventists for having a "NO MEATS" policy?

Do pink dolphins like bubble tea?

__________

A joke I heard a few weeks ago, pertaining to the topic.

"How do you know Adam and Eve weren't Chinese?" ... "They would have eaten the snake." 

Which offers some interesting theological what ifs.

Clean and Unclean

Donni: "Teacher?"

Me: "Yeah?"

Donni: "The Bible says its okay to eat horse?"

Me: "No."

Donni: "But the horse and cow are same?"

Me: "Here, look." (pointing to Leviticus 11) "See, the animal must have split hooves and chew its cud."

Donni: "So we can eat horse?"

Me: "I don't think so." (google "Does a horse chew its cud?" ...)

The horse's (non-ruminant herbivore) gastrointestinal tract differs from that of cattle (ruminant). The horse's soft palate closes after it swallows food, trapping the food in the larynx. In addition, the horse has muscular contractions in the esophagus that only go in a downward direction. Unlike cattle, the horse cannot reverse the direction of esophageal contractions. The cardiac sphincter muscle closes tightly when food enters the stomach and does not release, trapping food in the stomach. Therefore, horses cannot regurgitate their food and chew it again like cattle can.

Donni: "So we can eat horse?"

Me: (... finishing reading) "No, a horse doesn't chew its cud."

Donni: "What is chew cud?"

Me: (I thought about laying it out, "Well Donni, the non-ruminent herbivore horse gastrointestinal tract differs from that of ruminant herbivore cow, you see? .... Instead I just opened my English-Chinese Ap and searched "chew cud.")

Donni: "Oh, I know, I know."

Light

God said,

“Let there be light.”

John said, 

the light became

bone and blood and 

settled on planet earth

Jesus said, 

“You are the light of the world.”

They say,

incandescents are 

10 percent light,

90 percent hot air

But they can be

thrown away

The crew beneath the Foot

In the 1990 film, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, there's a group of youth who work as an organized crime gang run by their Darth-Vader-wanna-be leader, "Shredder." The gang that was beneath the Foot –– less karate more petty crime. This crew was the regular country crop of juvenile delinquents, who likely grew up fertilized with neglect and no discipline resulting in emotional instability, anger management issues, poor relationship skills, a strong anti-authority disposition, and an addiction to cigarettes.  At the end of the movie, the group is discovered and disbanded by the humanoid fighting-turtle team, but I'm pretty sure a few escaped, moved to China, got rich, procreated, raised their kids in the same tradition, and then sent them to Hong Kong Adventist Academy.

Ask me what I'd give for four turtles, a backpack of plutonium, and a roll of duct tape...

A lot.

Peanut Butter Surprise

After the stir. 

It came to the point last year, at the West Whitman Estate, where I didn't bother picking the ants out of my cereal. They wore us down. Relentless. Alban actually declared Jihad during the first quarter, but we were too cheap to seek a permanent fix, and by spring I was used to the occasional sour-burst in my Raison Bran. I even started looking forward to it.

Joy jumped me after I opened the peanut butter jar and found that the ants had invaded.



I hesitated. (It was the last of my peanut butter. I was hungry.)



Grabbing my knife, I moved in to scoop-flank some of the dark-invaders, but they had claimed to much turf, so I decided mid move, like a frugal truck-stop diner, to stir and serve.

Gorilla As tea-time special: Peanut Butter Banana Ant-Sprinkle Sandwich. 

Quiet Heart

PHOTO: A city of trees in Hong Kong Park. 

My Sins

“I have long feared that my sins would return to visit me, 
and the cost is more than I can bear.”

I haven’t killed anyone, but I lived in a dorm once. While there, I made some decisions, decisions some people might even label: ‘POOR DECISIONS.’ But who didn’t, right? I mean, the world was different back then, window-screens weren’t locked as much and construction signs were a dime a dozen.  

In those days, when I was scheming, I didn’t always have my deans in mind. Well, I did in a sense –– where they’d be and how they might react if they caught me –– but I wasn’t as concerned with their well being –– how my actions might affect their emotional health, sleep cycles, and overall life expectancy.  

I hoped my sins were forgotten, but whether by some action/reaction law of nature, or by some sort of divine justice, I’m a dean now. 

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,I’MM SAW-HA-HA-HAR-REE-Y (sobs and kosher expletives).

Western Eats

Friends form Walla Walla, Lance Davis and Andrew Corson, came down from Guangzhou this weekend (Guangzhou is inMainland China, two hour train-sit from HK). We saw some stuff, did some stuff, yadayadayada. But one of our primary objectives was to seek and destroy some western eats.

The weekend menu included falafel (not really "western" but the middle east is further west than HK, sometimes), burritos (graded on a curve with the WW T-Wag I'd give them a C+), a Texan/Wild-West BBQ-like joint called Anthony's Ranch (the food and decorating were definitely Texany, but they were broadcasting a rugby match on the big screen), and Paisonos.

Paisonos is a pizza joint established Brooklyn expat. The slices are big, greasy, and cheap. Lance went for it. He went for it all the way. And he couldn't quite finish all of it.

This is a picture of Lance holding two pieces of pizza.

Hong Kong Philharmonic

A couple weekends ago, a few of us from the school went to the symphony. It was kind of like the Walla Walla Symphony, only different. 

Afterwards we took the Star Ferry across the harbor.